


writing letters to god (but he will never hear)

by sadalienkiid



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Exiled TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Letters, Sad Ending, Sleepy Bois Inc as Family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-20 17:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30008133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sadalienkiid/pseuds/sadalienkiid
Summary: A collection of letters written from Tommy's perspective during his exile to various members of the DreamSMP.//expect it to get angst-ier as it goes along lmao. also all chapters will be very short and badly written by me. the sad thing is no one ever receives his letters.
Relationships: Dream SMP Ensemble & Sleepy Bois Inc., No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

Dear Phil,  
I don't like it here. No one ever visits. It's just me and green bitchboy, Dream. He never even lets me keep my armor. Can you guys visit soon? Techno could help me, maybe. Or Tubbo? He's the one that got me into this mess in the first place, he should at least visit me. It's lonely here. But I guess I have to tell you about what I did today so here:

Today I went mining, and I found some pretty good loot I guess. Enough iron for a few pieces of armor, and diamonds for a sword(!!!). Although I guess it didn't really matter because when Dream came to see me again he forced me to put it all in the hole where he would make me watch him blow it up. He's big on forcing me to do stuff, that prick. Before that though I built a cool tent for myself, it's a little small but it works. It's got a stove and everything. I set my spawn in the bed, so if I die I won't respawn at my house anymore. Come soon, though. Please don't let me die here. I miss L'manburg. I don't want to be stuck here during Christmas time, especially. You all will owe me lots of presents because of all of this!!! Cash will do fine as well, I suppose.

Write back soon!! Hopefully this all ends quickly and I'll be able to return and put Dream in prison, where he belongs.

Tommy


	2. letter two

Dear Techno,

Why haven't you guys visited yet? I don't think I'm asking a lot here. I get that my exile is far but Ghostbur, who came to see me today, said that you actually live not that far away!! You probably have all your weapons and shit there, so you could help me. Even if you think its better not to take on Dream, at least visit soon? It's kinda lonely here, to be honest with you. There's never anything to do, and the only one who visits me is Ghostbur. I collect my armor and weapons just for Dream to come and blow them all up again. You could come and it would be like the old days, when me and you would practice sword fighting together and then Phil would yell at us for being unsafe. Do you remember that? Because I do, good times.

Tommy


	3. letter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This letter is longer, and a bit happier. Calm before the storm I suppose. Tommy is hosting a beach party, and everyone, yes, even his betrayers, are invited! When everyone comes, it'll turn out great, surely.
> 
> \\\
> 
> also, I forgot to mention that each letter has a period of time between them! around a few weeks :)

Dear Tubbo,

I actually don't want to write to you. You're the one who put me here and betrayed me. Not only, you blame it on me!! "If only you listened to me, Tommy..." who does this guy think he is?! But Dream said I should write to you since you're supposed to be my 'best friend' and all, so I guess I am.

I'm having a beach party, and you're invited! I hate to play the 'sad exiled boy' card on you, but this is really the least you could do for me. Everyone left me and abandoned me, so is it really that hard for you to show up to my beach party? Besides, there will be cake! Make sure my family shows up too, they haven't visited me once! What have you guys been doing that means you can't visit me? Ooh...are they plotting with L'manburg to get me out of this hell-hole? I bet they are, I wont tell! You know what I always say, snitches get um...snitches are treated very nicely in a way that won't break Twitch ToS!

I'm hoping I can hide my armor and shit from Dream today so I can keep it instead of it being blown up. As I'm writing this, Ghostbur is trying to make my tent bigger. He's been keeping me company, although he doesn't like the way my tent looks. I appreciate it because he's the only person who visits, but sometimes he gets annoying.

oh shit! I hear Dream coming now, remember my party! Be there or be square!!

Tommy


	4. Chapter 4

I’m not going to address anymore goddamn letters to you.  
I can’t believe this.  
You didn’t fucking show up.

I asked for you to do one thing, and you couldn’t do it?

You abandoned me and left me to rot, and you couldn’t even face me when I invited you, when I _forgave_ you. My own family couldn’t bother to show up. I hand wrote invitations to all of them. 

The only person who is there for me now is Dream, for God’s sake, _Dream_. That says a lot about you when the only person who didn’t abandon your best friend is the person who is keeping that same person exiled, don’t you think? 

I hate you, and this entire town. Fuck L’manburg and everyone who fucking lives in it. Die, for all I care. If I had the chance I would burn it all just to watch the fleeting smoke join the sky. I lost everything for your country and you can’t even show up to a party. 

What ever happened to “Your Tommy, your Tubbo.”? Oh right, you never cared. Do you even still have the compass, the one that led you to me? Do you ever check it? I still have mine. You only ever cared about staying president, didn’t you? Never about us. Besides, you’ve already gotten somebody to replace me. What’s it matter anymore? 

I hope you're happy.  
Goodbye, Tubbo. Even if you never receive this letter.  
It wasn’t very nice knowing you, if I’m honest.

Tommy.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> VERY STRONGLY IMPLIED SELFHARM FOR REST OF THE CHAPTERS!! AND WHEN I MEAN STRONGLY IMPLIED, I MEAN _STRONGLY_ IMPLIED
> 
> stay safe lovelies <333

Dear anyone, 

Please save me from this hell. There is no one. It’s getting colder.

The only person who has shown that they still care about me is Dream. The only friend I have is Dream. Even Ghostbur hasn’t visited me in...what? 7 days? Does time even matter anymore? There is no ‘day’ anymore, it is just time when the sun hurts my eyes and when it doesn’t. It has all dissolved into my tired existence, where I just exist each day into the other.

Whoever is reading this, please send me help. Please be worried. Every night, the bad thoughts get closer. They try to reach me in my bed with their dark and scary hands. They whisper to me bad, bad, horrible things. They say that I deserve to fucking bleed. The fear makes me feel like a child again, but not in a good way. It reminds me of when I was younger at Dadza’s house one time and Wilbur erupted, I don’t remember the reason why. He yelled at Technoblade, unleashing a side of him I hadn’t seen before, and letting loose his temper. They made up eventually but the thing about Wilbur though, is that he’s scary when he’s angry. There’s a certain darkness that gets into his eyes and a particular power when he yells, you know he’s not joking.

When Wilbur wasn’t angry he was a great older brother. He would let me steal sips from his beer as long as I wouldn’t tell Phil. We would always plan some extravagant prank to play on Techno on April Fools. When he got a car, I was the first person he drove around, and we would ride around with his system turned up listening to Johnny Cash. He would always tell me, “Tommy, you’re gonna do something big one day, trust me. You’re gonna be more than me, and coming from me that’s saying a lot.”.

But that doesn’t matter now, does it? They all left me. The only thing that comforts me nowadays is drawing pictures into my forearms, and the pain is addictive. It makes me feel like I’m outside of my body and it’s euphoric, if only for a little while. They are a beautiful evil that slithers their way onto my veins, and I can’t stop it. It’s like they have tentacles that burn lines onto my arms.

I don’t know how much longer I can ignore the voices. They’re getting louder.  
Tommy.


End file.
